Dear Percy
by SibunAmber
Summary: "I miss all of the times we had, and those that never got to happen. Most of all I just miss you. But I know you're in a better place now. You can eat all the blue food you want. I miss you Perce. But I'm going to try to keep going, for you."


**Hey guys it's Abby. I know I've been posting a lot of sad post war slightly head canon-y stories but I just enjoy writing them for some reason. Anyway, I've actually been a little upset at how few reviews my stories have been getting. I love to hear y'all's feed back, because I cant improve ( or continue doing things you like) if I don't know what I need to do. Just take a second and review. Thank you and enjoy the story.**

**_**note** someone mentioned how I forgot to include how/when/where Percy died and I want to thank you. It is kind of a post giant war headcanon story where Percy died in battle at the very end of the giant war,in the final battle. If you like I will post a companion story going more into depth about it. Once again thank you for pointing that out**_**

Dear Percy,

Hey Perce, it's me, Annabeth, but you probably already knew that. You knew a lot more than most thought. You were never really smart, just not clueless like a lot of people thought. I know this isn't really the right way to start this letter, but I can't think of a better entrance so you get the awkward one.

It's been a year. Can you believe that? A whole year since the Giant War ended, since the camps signed a treaty of peace and we come together to help rebuild our cabins, barracks, and our lives. We now have a few new temples and a special station to iris message between camps more efficiently. We have new kids in each cabin except for Poseidon and Jupiter. We have nearly everything we could ever want/need. Nearly everything.

It's obvious what's missing from both camps, from Olympus, from the world.

You

I know it's cheesy and cliché but you really where the glue that held both camps and my world together. Now both have come crumbling down. I can fix the camps, but I can't fix myself.

I know you're probably mad at me for hanging onto it for so hard for so long, but I feel like to let go means to move on and I'm not ready for that. I'm not ready to be how I was before.

But which before do I start with? Before the war, when I was a leader at camp, before now when I helped with Roman/Greek unrest, or before I met you? I don't know if I can go back to then.

You have changed my life so much. We went through some of the hardest things in the world together, from Tartarus to puberty, we were together. And now you're gone and to be quite honest I don't know what to do. Everyone keeps looking to me for orders but I'm not mentally stable enough to give them. I can't keep on leading a group of kids who think they are helping by never mentioning you.

Some of the newest kids don't even know who you are; no one ever talks about you in fear of upsetting me. Honestly it's making it worse. It feels as though they are forgetting, trying to stop more pain, but I don't think they can. They can't stop the pain. They try, but in the end, I have to fight my own battles. This, however, is one battle I'm not prepared for.

The pain. Sometimes it fades away, like when I get wrapped up in a design and I forget there is something wrong. But then when I do finally remember again I feel guilty. I know you don't want me to feel bad but damn it Percy how can I not? How can I not feel absolutely awful? It is even possible?

You've been a part of my life for so long I don't know to act now that you're gone. You always guided my choices, even when you didn't know it, sometimes when I didn't even know it. You were such a big part of me and I never thought I would actually lose you. After Tartarus I thought there was nothing that could separate us.

Yet here we are, in completely different places. You in Elysium (I assume. You're dad and probably even Hades would have made sure of that), and me here on Earth, trying so hard to keep going everyday and some days I can go, but others I can't even move. I feel like I can't breathe, like I might suffocate on my own sobs as I sit crying into your old pillow. I sleep in your cabin a lot. It brings me at least a little comfort, but not nearly enough.

Everyone keep asking if I need anything, if I want anything, but no matter how hard they try, they won't be able to give me either. Because both my needs and wants are you. To see you even if just for one last time. Enough time to say a proper goodbye. Piper said that not seeing you dying was probably good, but if I had I would have had a chance to tell you, once last time, that I loved you, that I still love you. I will always love you.

Do you remember when we first met? My first words to you, while you were fully conscious, were 'you drool when you sleep'. You still do, or did, right up until the day you died. I nursed you back to health, fed you some stupid nectar pudding the Apollo cabin was testing. (It worked by the way, which is kind of obvious seeing as you lived for a long time after that). You just came into camp all beat up, clutching that Minotaur horn, with an injured Grover following you.

I remember the first time we said I love you. We just whispered it as we fell into Tartarus. That I feel was the moment where I knew, that you didn't even need to remind me that you loved me. Once we landed it hurt, but at least we were together. Now I feel like I've been thrown into the pit again, only this time there is no escape and, most importantly, no you.

Do you remember our first date? When we went and saw the Hunger Games and I cried when Rue died and you just put your arm around me, making me feel slightly better.

How about that time that we got kicked out of the kitchen at the big house for making a huge mess during a flour fight while we tried to make a cake? Remember how it tasted awful because we but in the baking soda instead of the baking powder?

What about when we went and saw Wicked on Broadway and you got confused because the street wasn't actually Broadway? You got that furrowed brow look that I would never have told you in person but I found it to be quite adorable. You were always such a dork.

Or when you stayed up with me until 3 am watching A Very Potter Musical on New Year's eve/day. Or that time we went surfing in San Francisco and I kept falling off of the board and you kept having to catch me (though after the third or fourth time I started to do it on purpose, just so you would come over and 'help me', when I really didn't need help).

I miss all of the times we had, and those that never got to happen. Most of all I just miss you. But I know you're in a better place now. You can eat all the blue food you want. I miss you Perce. But I'm going to try to keep going, for you. I love you forever. One day, hopefully when I'm old a grey, I will see you again. Goodbye (for now)

-Annabeth Chase


End file.
